The Apple Store Moment That Made Me Rethink People-Pleasing

A couple months ago, my husband Mitchell and I were headed to the Apple Store so I could replace my phone. I was fried — waking up at 4:45am, juggling a full-time job, building out trainings for BreakTheMold clients, and trying to show up again on Instagram after a long break. Most nights, I didn’t even make it past 7:45pm before passing out on the couch.

The Moment I Knew Something Had to Change

That day, I said something out loud that had been building for weeks: “I have no idea how I’m going to keep this pace.”

And that’s when it happened.

We walked into the store, and I ran into someone I’d met through a previous workshop I had done. He introduced me to his wife, and reminded me I had agreed to meet with her about her career — weeks ago. She asked if we could connect Tuesday night.

And I said yes.

Not because I had the time.
Not because I had the energy.
But because I felt guilty.

The moment I agreed, I felt it: the wave of overwhelm, the inner critic, the pressure building inside my chest. I was mad at myself for saying yes when just minutes earlier I had said aloud that I couldn’t carry one more thing.

That moment stuck with me because it wasn’t about that one yes.
It was about the pattern underneath it.

The Pattern: Saying Yes to Avoid Discomfort

For so long, I thought saying no required a really good reason — a justifiable excuse that others would approve of.

I told myself things like:

• “I’m not as busy as other people, so I should be able to do this.”

• “If I say no, they’ll think less of me.”

• “If I don’t show up now, future opportunities will pass me by.”

In reality, I was trading short-term approval for long-term resentment. The more I overcommitted, the less present I became in my work, in my relationships, and with myself. Every yes became just another thing to survive.

The Shift: A New Rhythm Rooted in Self-Check-Ins

These days, I’m learning to practice something new:

Pausing before I say yes.

It seems so simple, but it’s changed everything. I’ve started asking myself:

• Do I actually have capacity for this?

• Will this energize me or drain me?

• Am I saying yes out of guilt, fear, or alignment?

If I’m not sure, I use one of my new favorite phrases: “That sounds great! Can I think on it and get back to you?” or “I’m working on not saying yes in the moment. Can I follow up with you tomorrow?”

That short pause gives me the space to make choices that are rooted in presence, not pressure because I'm on the spot.

What I’m Learning as I Practice This

• It’s not going to feel natural at first. Sometimes we misread that discomfort as a reason to backslide into old habits.

• Saying no doesn’t make me rude or unreliable, It makes me honest and human.

• Boundaries are not rejection. They actually help sustain connection. To myself, to what matters, and to the people I love.

I’m also learning to block rest into my calendar before I’m desperate for it, to limit how many meetings I take in a week, and to stop comparing my capacity to others (especially as an introverted HSP).

A Few Practices That Are Helping Me Stay in Rhythm

1. Pause phrases to buy myself time to decide

2. Blocking “white space” on my calendar to recharge

3. Tracking what energizes vs. drains me and scheduling accordingly

4. Practicing boundaries in safe spaces first (like with my family)

5. Writing down proof when saying no leads to relief, not rejection

If You’re in This Too…

If you’ve ever said yes and immediately regretted it…
If you’re tired of running on empty while trying to keep everyone else happy…
If you want a different rhythm, but it feels unnatural at first…

You’re not alone.

Try starting with one pause. One boundary. One honest check-in.
See what shifts.

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